Classy Chaos

I am confident that once the staff at the uber posh Peninsula Chicago see the place cards I created for my sister's wedding shower this weekend, they will hire me on the spot to become their newest director of creative affairs.  "OHmommy... we've been waiting for someone just like you to take our hotel to an entirely new level.  You are so stylish.  So classy.  We have never seen such fabulous place cards."  They will say.  "Tell us how you did it, busy with three kids and all."

I will shift weight in my Louboutins, blush out-loud and suddenly grow timid from all the attention.  "Pshaw.  It was hardly any work at all.  The idea came to me while I was waiting in the elementary school car-pick-up-line.  And I executed it before my son's karate was over, that same afternoon!"

"All in one afternoon, huh?  You are incredible!"

"Yes, uber posh Peninsula people, it's all about utilizing your time effectively.  Some of my greatest ideas have come while waiting in the school pick-up line and I've learned to act and execute them immediately before they get lost in my mommy brain, alongside my sanity."

"Tell us.  Tell us how to re-create what you have done."

"All you really need is one set of place card papers and two different colored stickers."

"That's it?"

"Pretty much.  You get bonus points if you can find a kindergartner (who complains that school does not assign enough homework and has emptied your wallet at Borders after purchasing every single age appropriate workbook and still cries boredom) to address each place card."

"But.  But we have our own calligraphy experts who are trained in using quill and ink on vellum at the uber posh Peninsula.  It's classy, timeless and our clients admire our talent."

"That's so two-thousand-and-late, yo.  Kindergartners have organic penmanship and can dot their I's with hearts."

"We've never had place cards dotted with hearts.  Incredible concept."

"You know what's really incredible?  That kindergartners pour their hearts into every single letter asking a million questions along the way such as 'how does Kasia know Jen' and 'is Maggie the girl that tickled my toes' and 'Dave is a boy so why is he coming to a girls lunch' and a craft that you thought would keep them busy for hours, turns into a trip down memory lane where you have to describe every single relationship the guest has to the bride."  Oh vey.

"Awww, cute.  But there's one problem.  How does a kindergartner successfully identify which guest will be having the 'penne pasta with thyme-roasted chicken' or the 'wild mushroom risotto with truffle mascarpone' on the place card so that our wait staff knows who ordered what?"

"Easy, if you think like a kindergartner.  The gold sticker (next to the name) is for the chicken entree because most chickens are blond and the color closest to blond is gold.  The silver stickers are for the shrooms because they are ewwww and not at all gold-ish.  Adhere the correct colored sticker next to the organic hand written name.  And.  Viola...."

"You are a genius, OHmommy!  These, by far, are the classiest place cards we have ever seen at the uber posh Peninsula."

"Phsaw.  You are making me blush."

* Bride-to-be... if you dislike them, call me.  I have generic computer place cards in draft on my computer, waiting to be printed.  No hurt feelings.  Really.  We killed an hour.

Nearly two years ago in March, the sun came out after a long Cleveland winter and a five year old boy exclaimed "Someone needs to call the weatherman to tell him that it feels like summer out here!"  It was fifty degrees that day.  Now that the kids are a little older I figure that with age comes thicker skin and forty sunny degrees is absolutely acceptable for outdoor ruckus.  "Let's find our bikes!"   Older, thicker skinned, stir crazy Midwestern children make for excellent bicycle cleaners as they feverishly wipe off months of settled dust in anticipation of steering their wheels around gigantic snow mounds.  In March.

"I don't care about my pants getting wet.  They will dry."  Jay, suddenly an extreme sports enthusiast, argued with me and tried to figure out if he could bike down the slope.

"I'm not sure I can. I'm not sure I can.  I'm not sure I can remember how to do this."  Lola pumped her legs on the bike while chanting to herself.

"Da sun!  Da sun!  I no like da sun!!!  It hurts me eyes."  Fifi threw her head down and refused to move.

One tried to imagine a new path.  One tried to remember an old skill.  One tried to argue with nature.  We all tried to remember life with the sun.  It's been a very long time since the sun kissed our skins in Cleveland.  Is it sunny in your neck of the woods?

It's no secret that I love a good conversation.

It's something that I hope my children will enjoy as well; otherwise, they might be lost at the extended Karwowski dinner table which is frequently the stage for many healthy and heated dialogues.  To prepare them for a life long seat at our confident table I stumbled across two tools that foster that quality I love most about my family.  Starting great discussions.

The "Kids Topics" (on the left) and the "Family Dinner."  #notablogreview

We've actually gone through both boxes, twice over.  Needless to say, the kids ask for it every night as we sit down for dinner. "Can we do the questions?"  (The Kids Topic questions are friendlier for smaller kids as some of the concepts in Family Dinner are too hard to grasp)

Tonight was no different and the kids begged to answer the questions.  "But we have answered them all, twice.  I will order more on the dot com tomorrow."  I explained.

"I have a better idea!"  My son interrupted.  "How about we write our own questions?"

Yeah.  Something tells me that they will do just fine at our extended family dinners.  Consider this a friendly warning Karwowski family - we have another generation of passionate conversationalists.