|My cornea has HERPES. Heh.|
|Written by OHmommy|
|Sunday, 12 July 2009 22:50|
I've never heard of anyone having the Herpes virus on their eye cornea. Once, let alone twice.
So when Dr. Eyehealer, at the Cleveland Clinic, took one look at my cornea the other day and identified it as a classic "HSV type-1 virus inflammation" I said "For reals? Again?" Because I thought we cured it last month after racking up nearly $5,000 of emergency eye clinic follow-ups for my bacterial and viral eye infections that caused me to live in a dark cave for weeks in pain.
"Herpes is not curable."
Great. I have an incurable viral disease called HERPES that I caught from a fifth-grade sleepover party when sharing a TaB soda with a girlfriend whom had a cold sore on her lip while watching WWF wrestling. And now it's spread to my eyeball. And just like a lip cold sore my eye ball is on fire. On. Fire.
Do you know how ridiculously humiliating it is to walk up to my local pharmacy in my waspy suburban community, with three children, to get a refill of Valtrex? And not just one pill, like I've been accustomed to buying for years when I feel the cold sore brewing. No. The pharmacist handed over a quite large container filled to the brim of Valtrex. "VALTREX, the only once-daily medicine that can help reduce the number of your genital herpes outbreaks."
Heh. My eyeballs have HERPES. How's that for classy?
Dr. Eyehealer has prescribed me a year's worth of Valtrex as preventive treatment from the viral outbreak ever happening again. More so, equally as disturbing, he recommended that I wear these indefinately:
Great. Now I have HERPES of the eyeball and am fugly with glasses. Just in time for me to stand up in front of 1000s of people in Chicago to read one of my posts for the community keynote at BlogHer. Whatever you do... don't say "break a leg."
Because that would not be funny. I have cute shoes packed.