The post I wasn't going to post. PDF Print E-mail
Written by OHmommy   
Monday, 01 September 2008 19:00
I wasn't going to do it.

I vowed that I would not even blog about it. The obligatory post about the first day of elementary school for your first born child.

I promised myself I wouldn't.

Because. It turns out that it is not such a big deal. In all honesty, both Jay and I are happy. More so, we have been excited for a long time. We read through the entire hot lunch calendar, drove the bus route, walked the halls of school, met the teacher, memorized his full-day schedule, and we are ready.

The thought of having one out of three children in school full time put a rather large smile on my face. Secretly, I have been doing a happy dance of joy for some days now. I don't have to feed him lunch or guide him to the bathroom. I don't have to arrange day time play dates to keep him busy or visit the library for the gazillionth time out of pure boredom. I have one less hand to hold when running errands. This is all very good. He is a big boy and will be on his own at school. I am happy. I am soooo ready for this.

Last year this time, I was sick to my stomach wondering if we made the right choice by redshirting Jay. Our school district deemed him ready to start kindergarten based on his birthday. I held him back to grow emotionally ready for school. I mean, he is going to spend the next 21 years in school before his Harvard medical school residency in brain surgery or his MIT internship in biomedical engineering. Or both! We did not hurry our sensitive son off to school. I wanted him to LOVE learning and to LOVE school and I wanted him to be CONFIDENT. He needed to grow a little more before I deemed him ready.

He is all of those things today. He is ready for school. He is excited. He is happy.

And. I thought I was too. I thought I was ready, excited, and happy. Until I was flipping through 5,000 pictures this weekend and stumbled across this....


First day of preschool 2005.



Kindergarten orientation 2008.


And dear God, my heart skipped a beat and the room closed in on me and I was finding it rather hard to breath.

Please excuse me today, while I cry in the fetal position and gently rock myself to sleep while he is gone. Without me. All day long. Without me.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the bus. THE bus!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Why do you have to grow so fast?" I asked Jay the night before his first day as I held up his baby sock to measure against his six year old foot. I know, what other mom pulls out baby socks the night before kindergarten? Right? I am sick. "Mama, start feeding me junk food and I will slow down."

I am seriously considering only feeding him junk from now on and hope he is right. Resuming my fetal position now.

Waaa....
 

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Author

Pauline Karwowski.

Is a self proclaimed globe trotting, minivan driving, SAHM stiletto ho.

Happily married mother to 3 Cleveland natives: Jay the son, Lola the daughter, and Fifi the banshee.

Now in Chicago, IL.

The content on this blog is the opinion of the blogger.

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