However the finished product has always been the same.  Clean kids in blankets, sleeping. It has been for years with just minimal tweaks of the recipe.

Lately I've been wondering if there's a product recall number I can call after hours. Because kids are just not made like they used to be. I totally blame the manufacturers. I've spent nearly eight years perfecting my craft so I am well aware that the occasional extra ingredient nap prolongs the expiration date.  I'm pretty much fluent in organic banshee (the primitive language of toddlers girls screaming to get their way). Thankyouverymuch.

But I have so much more to learn like any connoisseur mastering their art.  Such as how to properly prepare and wash the permanent ink (from an address-label-stamp) off of 64% of the banshee's surface (which shocked the demure librarian at story hour).  Or how to address the banshee with delightful pecks of kisses during the tucking in process while trying to drown out the sounds of "You are the worst mom, ever. Ever."  Because I did not allow the product to be stuffed with cookies before dinner time (instead of disciplining I smiled at the second Ever).  Or how to convince the banshee that a polyester cheerleading costume is not appropriate sleeping attire.

Le sigh. It's time to improvise my recipe like any chef extraordinaire who admits to recipes gone bad.  I totally blame the manufacturers.