Yesterday, I lost touch with the last remaining ties I had with parenting perfection. Read: No longer in the running for mother-of-the-year award.

When I became a mother I had this great ball of yarn before me. It was intertwined with endless shades of cotton embodying my vision of "perfect" parenting. Organic home made baby food! Delicate papers framing photos in scrap books! Peaceful parenting! Bi-lingual children! Nursing my babies until preschool! Matching socks! Bed sheets washed weekly! A gentle snip-snip here of the yarn. Uncontrolled unravel there. And I quickly realized that the ball was getting smaller; but, as long as I held onto the last remaining threads there was hope.

I had grand plans of carefully hanging years worth of picture perfect memories, framed and matted in the same style on the most delightful shade of blue wall paint that adorned our rec room, where our family gathers.

I imagined hanging photographs side-by-side of my children at the same stages in life.

Jay photographed for the first time not in my presence, but under the supervision of his first preschool teacher, in a handsome olive sweater that was worth twelve happy meals. Lola at the same stage, in her first preschool portrait, in a huge white bow I customed ordered online costing me fifteen boxes of mac-n-cheese. I left a spot on the wall open for Fifi's first school picture experience and was looking forward to hanging her photo next to her siblings.

Only. I forgot. I totally and utterly forgot. Until the phone rang.

"Hello? Mrs. Karwowski?"

"Yes?"

"This is the principal of Save Us Jesus Preschool."

"Oh-oh."

"No. Everything is fine."

"Oh?"

"Today is picture day and you did not sign the release form. Can we photograph your daughter?"

"Oh. .......... (silence)......... Oh! My! Gawd! She's wearing a cheerleading costume!"

"Yes ma'am. Yes she is. Can we take her picture?"

"Yes." I agreed, silently hanging my head in shame. "But to my defense we had a really hard morning. She really likes her cheerleading costume. It's 100% cotton, you know?"

Yesterday was portrait pick up day, where the entire preschool gathers and waits in lines as parents (one-by-one) view photos in makeshift frames propped up on velvet tablecloths. I had to warn the mothers behind me not to laugh or smirk or talk behind my back while I viewed the outcome of picture day because "I totally forgot and Save Us Jesus preschool really should email people all the memos instead of stuffing backpacks with paper. Seriously, it's not very green of them. And how much paper is Teddy Bear Photography Studio of Ohio wasting in printing out $135 packages of photos when all I want is an 8 by 10 print to hang on my perfect blue wall of photos in the rec room? So not green, they should email the proofs." Tisk, tisk. I shook my head and successfully managed to divert their attention from my ill parenting to saving the world.

While the mothers behind me, huddled to create a new green campaign for the future of SUJ preschool I ducked out of line to check out my third child's preschool photos.

Don't adjust your computer screen people! Those are real flakes of oatmeal on her cheerleading shirt (that's two sizes too big for her) and real nose wipes on the rolled up sleeves.  I will proudly frame and hang it.

The story could end right there.

But have no fear. My life is full of awesomeness. And luckily for you there's more.

This year Save Us Jesus preschoolers received complimentary tee-shirts with their own school photos!  Yay!!!  A constant reminder of a parenting fail picture day...

The shirt (now a favorite of the toddlers and will be worn until it's unrecognizable, all throughout Cleveland, I am sure) screams LOOK AT ME. I LET MY DAUGHTER DRESS AS A CHEERLEADER FOR PRESCHOOL PICTURE DAY.  I can't make this stuff up.