Once upon a time, I was a good parent. PDF Print E-mail
Written by OHmommy   
Thursday, 24 March 2011 20:08

I used to spoon feed my eldest children their dinners until they reached kindergarten age.


One evening, years ago, my girlfriend Maggie stopped by unannounced and witnessed my children watching youtube videos while I secretly slid a hearty homemade soup into their tiny mouths, just like a mother bird. The look in Maggie's eyes told me that spoon feeding wasn't a common parenting practice in the United States. But it was the only way I knew, as I witnessed my Polish mother doing the same for years.


My third child has never been spoon fed. Mainly because, not only have I become a wiser parent but I'm also a much lazier parent. My third child should see a speech pathologist but her speech impediment is just so.darn.cute. She should be forced to clean her room but the sight of stuffed animals in dresses at a tea party is rather delightful. She really should know her shapes and colors by now but we're always in the need of toilet paper from Target. Lately though, I've noticed that my poor parenting skills are causing her to graze throughout the day - never getting a full nutritious meal.


This morning I woke up with a kink in my neck (casualty of poor parenting practices) and announced "I will spoon feed you dearest child just like I did with your brother and sister back in the days when I deboned chickens with my own hands for dinner".


I spoon fed her dinner.


And. She left me a note.


"Dis is how I feel when yah feed me dah food. I no like it. See my sad face?"




I don't see a sad face.


But that's totally the middle finger. No?

Last Updated on Friday, 25 March 2011 08:09


# Momo Fali 2011-03-24 22:06
She may not eat like a Polish child, but she's spirited like one!
# pamela 2011-03-24 22:07
OMG she flicked you off in her picture.

You're not a lazy parent. You're a great parent, teaching her independence by letting her feed herself :)
# Maggie 2011-03-24 22:37
Certainly that wasn't THIS Maggie. Seeing as how I always think of you while I spoon feed my Allie. (it reminds me that it is ok). And, to be honest, I am usually doing it in between viewings on the iPad! She even tells me, "feed me like a baby, mommy".
# Monica 2011-03-24 22:49
I TOTALLY spoon feed Ashley. Too funny. Love this!
# kasia 2011-03-24 23:05
# Monda 2011-03-24 23:13
LOL...that's totally the middle finger!
# Loukia 2011-03-24 23:31
She's a pretty good artist for her age, I think! I still spoon feed my kids sometimes! And dress them! And sleep in the same bed as them! They're only young once, right?
# Jill 2011-03-24 23:49
Oh I just snorted ... laughing!

3rd children ... so spirited. So full of life.

Such babies. No matter the age! *sigh*
# Elizabeth 2011-03-25 01:08
Oh. My. God. HI-larious!!!
# jenarenschield 2011-03-25 06:52
Thanks for the belly laugh to start my day. Too cute and so Feenster!
# Marlo 2011-03-25 06:56
I die! Hilarious!!!!
# megryansmom 2011-03-25 06:59
Thank you for the PSA...one more note to self...spoon feeding is bad. Just another question please, is it only not acceptable when someone is watching? I need to know ASAP as it's almost breakfast time here in SHE KA GO and this Polish Mema needs to feed some kids.
# raiza 2011-03-25 07:05
please bring her to a speech pathologist; when she's older, the rest of the world won't find it sp.darn.cute.
# Marinka 2011-03-25 07:27
ah, parenting advice by comment. My favorite.
# Frannie 2011-03-25 07:47
If you're going to criticize you should really check your spelling.

It makes you look like an idiot.
# ShredderFeeder 2011-03-25 09:36
And the "bring her.." would seem to indicate that said commenter *IS* a speech pathologist... (or is horrible at grammar...either way.)

Wouldn't be trying to drum up business would you?

Every one of mine had cute, idiosyncratic ways of saying things...They have all grown out of them. It's normal, and don't let any idiot tell you you're not a good parent. *WE* know better.
# Jessica 2011-03-25 09:57
This is unnecessary. I personally think it is adorable. Especially considering that most children outgrow them. Criticizing the parenting of someone that you do not know is not ok.
# Melisa 2011-03-25 07:15
SO cute.

It's not every mom that can say their little girl has flipped her off. haha!
# Marlo 2011-03-25 07:27
Just wanted to add that I didn't take my 3rd to get speech either because I love the way he talks! Sadly, at 5, he is outgrowing the sweet little lisp that made him sound like a baby. :cry: I have confidence that school will handle it next year if it still is around!
# Cathy 2011-03-25 07:32
You rock and put your kids first and there's no doubt you would take her to the speech pathologist if the need was really there. So much is developmental and when she needs to go, you will take her, and then you will work with her at home, and practice in the car while driving on some riotous road trip. She'll be fine and the rest of the people in the world will still find her so.darn.cute. cause she is. Of course, I know this because I read your blog, not because I know you, but I can still get defensive, can't I?
# PolPrairieMama 2011-03-25 07:32
She so did flip you off! lol My older one calls that the booger finger, long story. Yes, definitely spirited like a Polish child.

I don't spoon feed mine but my oldest begs for it sometimes "Feed me like a baby!", partly when she's feeling jealous of her baby sister. Of course I oblige! My parents spoon fed me too! I'm not sure why I don't, though.

Anyway, that lisp, I was told I had one in school but in the videos I had, you could completely tell it was my now-lost Polish accent. Tragic that I lost it, really. Le sigh...
# Nicole 2011-03-25 07:33
I'm so with you on the speech thing. Just casually mentioned at kindergarten registration yesterday that my baby (he's the third also) kind of talks like Elmer Fudd, and they may want to take a look at him when school starts.... I also think its so.darn.cute... :)
Have a great day!!!
# Amy 2011-03-25 07:41
LOL and so Feenie. I guess she told you in words and with a finger.
# Frannie 2011-03-25 07:49
She'll grow out of the speech impediment...as a pre-schooler, my son stuttered when he got upset. It passed.

As for the spoon feeding, don't fret, you more than make up for it in other areas. :).
# haniaski 2011-03-25 07:52
Love her!
# HaB 2011-03-25 07:55
eh. I'm polish and only have one child - who has more spirit than a whole herd of wild mustangs. I've often wondered how much therapy is going to cost her later in life?

And, really, as much as I adore you Pauline, get the child to a speech therapist or pathologist. My daughter did 6 months of Speech Therapy. There is no shame and it doesn't make you a bad parent if she needs the services. But, what can make you a bad parent (in the eyes of others) is not addressing her speech issues regardless of how "cute" it is.
# Michele 2011-03-25 08:14
My Hannah cannot say everything correctly either. It is developmental & she will outgrow it. My sarah used to call lunch munch bc she could not pronounce her Ls. You are an awesome mom & some ppl should really just keep their mouths shut.
# Ann Imig 2011-03-25 08:15
This is hilarious.

I have a kink in my neck too. Please de-bone me?
# traci 2011-03-25 08:27
The other night I fell to my bed, utterly exhausted at the decisions, the snap second decisions all parents make. I was so tired, mentally drained, I could literally see myself as a mother of teenagers just waving them out the door and being too worn out to parent teenagers sufficiently.

I had a realization that I started out parenting in a dead sprint. I needed to remind myself that parenting isn't a sprint. It's a marathon.

You're not lazy. You're on lap 1,000 of a sprint.
# Jon 2011-03-25 08:29
Most Bad advice seems to come from those who do everything by the book and kids turn out a mess or don't have kids. I love my child and his 3 year old words that he says differently. (he has trouble with 'or' sound, so floor come out fleer-- it's so.darn.cute and he will be fine and so will your little person) In reading your blogs it is clear you are a good and caring parent who has 3 children who seem to be good reflections of there good parenting. You might want to get her artwork checked out though, the early self expression with flying the bird is surely a sign of guenius. :)
# tyne 2011-03-25 08:35
Love you, Pauline. I am pretty sure if you did take Feenie to a speech pathologist they would say that her lisp is developmentally appropriate. But that's just my ten plus years of early childhood development experience, not some unsolicited parenting advice!
# Marta 2011-03-25 08:53
I wouldn't worry about any of it at all (and ignore the comments that say otherwise). Ben (turned 4 on 3/7) sneaks into my bed every night and I love his cuddles so I never make him go to back to his bed. His writing skills are underdeveloped (he could never draw such a great middle finger person!) but as a 4 year old boy I think that's okay. You've had two kids who are bright and wonderful if you thought Feenie need extra help I'm sure you'd give it to her!

Also, I've never spoonfed my son when he wasn't a baby. I should ask my mom about that (we're Polish too). :D
# sarah 2011-03-25 08:57
I love your stories. Her drawings make me giggle. Screw the nay sayers.
# alexandra 2011-03-25 08:57
Oh, so funny.

Yeah no but totally to the middle finger.

You ARE classy chaos.
# PolPrairieMama 2011-03-25 09:04
A, czy to jest jakies Parenting Magazine albo Forum? Nie, mislem jest tilko bloggu Paulini. ;)
# Sara 2011-03-25 09:09
This is too funny! Love it!
# Scary Mommy 2011-03-25 09:21
That's awesome.

Evan's teacher told me to get him into speech therapy, too, but I haven't. I love his voice and he's a third child and it will work itself out. And, if it doesn't, I'll deal with it eventually. Just not yet.
# Scary Mommy 2011-03-25 09:21
That's awesome.

Evan's teacher told me to get him into speech therapy, too, but I haven't. I love his voice and he's a third child and it will work itself out. And, if it doesn't, I'll deal with it eventually. Just not yet.
# Scary Mommy 2011-03-25 09:21
That's awesome.

Evan's teacher told me to get him into speech therapy, too, but I haven't. I love his voice and he's a third child and it will work itself out. And, if it doesn't, I'll deal with it eventually. Just not yet.
# Kari 2011-03-25 09:42
I WISH I were HALF the mommy you are!!!
# Anne 2011-03-25 10:06
Grazing through the day is best, ask any nutritionist. So really, you are doing an excellent job.
# Jo Ashline 2011-03-25 10:29
Do people really not realize that you wrote this post tongue in cheek? That in no way were you concerned with your "parenting skills?" Paulinko, you have a beautiful, amazing family, your children are loved beyond comprehension, every picture you take of their cherub faces reflect kids that are healthy, happy, and LIVING LIFE. These people that prowl the internet for a chance to spew their "advice" are sad, pathetic, and not worthy of your attention in the least. I am proud to call you a friend and your blog inspired ME to blog. Keep up the AWESOME work of being the best mamusia to your precious babies. I wish women would stop harrassing one another and start lifting each other up; we have such a tough enough job trying to get it all done, the least we could do is support each other. Geez.
Kocham cie kochanie!!!!
# lceel 2011-03-25 11:16
You are SUCH a great Mom. There isn't anyone who knows and loves your children more and better than you. And that what it takes to raise kids - Love. BIG LOVE. It doesn't matter if you're poor as churchmice or rich as Croesus, the one thing you need to raise your kids well and properly is Love - and you have it in spades. Your kids have it in spades.

Oh. And given that there is a sizable portion of the population of these United States whose parents, or grandparents or great-grandparents came from Poland, the way things are and have been done by Polish Mothers must be pretty darn good - otherwise there would be so many of Polish descent here. I'm just sayin'.
# Michelle 2011-03-25 11:27
At least you know she's learning something... even if it is how to express herself through art & middle finger gesticulations. I laughed so hard seeing that picture. It's one to keep in her baby book.
# Karen 2011-03-25 11:57
Haha, her picture is hilarious!! I love your stories about the toddler, she is such a hoot!
# Laurie 2011-03-25 13:01
OH my gosh, this is the FUNNIEST!! Her picture says it all!
# Elaine 2011-03-25 13:08
I love what a spit-fire she is. That kids rocks. :D
# Mandy 2011-03-25 13:33
How funny!!! And I must be part Polish, because I spoonfeed my children and everyone hates it and tells me I'm spoiling them. They are only young once. Kind of what I posted about yesterday on my blog. mandyandryan.blogspot.com
# Mandy 2011-03-25 13:35
I can't delete this and it messed up on the blog address.
# Mandy 2011-03-25 13:33
[quote name="Mandy"]How funny!!! And I must be part Polish, because I spoonfeed my children and everyone hates it and tells me I'm spoiling them. They are only young once. Kind of what I posted about yesterday on my blog. mandyandryan.blogspot.com
# Michelle 2011-03-25 14:48
Out of all the positive comments on this blog, one person had something negative to say. That's one out of 50. I wouldn't give it nearly the attention it has received.

And if it were really an issue, I'm guessing your pediatrician would've addressed it by now. The only thing I will say about speech issues (and it does depend on what the issue is...lisp, stuttering, articulation), is that they are typically easier to deal with when the child is younger. If it's developmental, no real intervention will likely be necessary.

LOVE her artwork! Hilarious!
# justanothermommyblog 2011-03-25 17:25
Therapists shmerapists. Everyone goes to therapy nowadays. I personally feel it's overdone. WAY overdone. Most kids have speech or other delays of some sort and just naturally work through them. Sure, therapy may help but so would just enunciating on your own with her. She'll grow out of it, without a doubt. We know our kids best and if you know that she is fine, then she's fine.

I would personally kill for someone to spoon feed me! These kids don't know how good they've got it. Dang, push me in a stroller, tie my shoes and give me a balanced meal. No problem. Especially if there's wine in that sippy cup...
# pgoodness 2011-03-25 21:19
Best. picture. ever.
And I adore that she made a point of making a picture to let you know how she felt. Awesome. :)
# Mom Photographer 2011-03-26 00:50
Is that really a truth that in US it is not common to spoon feed the child?!
Oh well. I've been doing it with my daughter while my Polish mom keeps asking me if she eat on her own already?! ;-)
She does, of course, but when I make a soup it's actually normal that I use a spoon to feed it to her... How else could I do that?! using sipping cup.
Anyway I don't see any problems with spoon feeding - but not exclusively!
# Mom Photographer 2011-03-26 00:51
btw, I see the middle finger, too!!! ;)
# allison 2011-03-26 16:45
this Lola is hysterical!
# The Divas Thoughts 2011-03-26 20:31
Totally the middle finger! lol
# Texan Mama 2011-03-27 15:21
I LOVE that she drew in a belly button. So cute!!
# Issa 2011-03-28 18:01
Oh I love this post. Third kids in some way get the shaft. Mine is two. His sisters are 6 & 9. He's the kid who napped in a stroller at the park the first year of his life. He's the one who didn't get tons of one on one time.

Then again? He gets the most relaxed mommy. The one who know that the little stage, is gone so quick. That dirt does no harm. That jam and toast can be a meal.

Third kids manage to grow up just the same as the big ones do.
# clarkinfestedwaters 2011-03-28 20:01
Oh my...so funny!!! You can't make this stuff up!!! I am still crying with laughter. Oh, and yes, tally the middle finger. :)
# Sarah G 2011-03-30 05:12
The thing I find most funny? Her angry mouth. She's a genius!
# Sherry 2011-03-30 10:13
hysterical! hysterical! thanks for the laugh...just in time because next on my list is paying bills. and i'm procrastinating.
# mama bird diaries 2011-04-05 19:11
Everything she does is just so damn cute.

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Pauline Karwowski.

Is a self proclaimed globe trotting, minivan driving, SAHM stiletto ho.

Happily married mother to 3 Cleveland natives: Jay the son, Lola the daughter, and Fifi the banshee.

Now in Chicago, IL.

The content on this blog is the opinion of the blogger.


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