|I'm mentally exhausted & I really need your advice.|
|Written by OHmommy|
|Thursday, 03 November 2011 00:00|
I have felt, for the last four years, that my child wasn't getting enough support from our public school because my child has always been borderline passing. Just typing "borderline passing" sends me in a fit of tears wondering what I did wrong. Two elementary school aged siblings from the same parents given the same opportunities and one child is nearly failing school while the other one is being recommended for the gifted program. This one thought has consumed most of my waking hours today, which started at four am when I woke up gasping for air - my very first panic attack that lasted until I received a phone call from preschool telling me to pick up my sick third child. Never before did I welcome such a distraction.
I hate that everyone I know reads this stinking blog. I hate that everyone will know that I have a child struggling. I hate the word borderline. I hate not knowing what I did wrong. I hate that I listened to teachers instead of my heart. I hate that I had a panic attack when I know that there are many others worst off. I hate asking for help.
All I can think of, to describe our current situation, is that my child was left behind. My child has been dragged along barely holding on during school hours (for four years) and while I understand that there are many more children that probably need more help, my child is now totally and completely left behind. So much so, that my child admitted to just tuning out this year because it was all just too much to process. Stab in the heart. Which wasn't the case in kindergarten when I sensed a problem and begged for extra help. Or in first grade when I begged for an IEP, sensing my child's frustration, but was told that my child met the "benchmark". By second grade we finally arranged an IEP meeting after months of school and well... school broke out for the summer after only a couple of short months of intervention. Enter the third grade and I haven't heard anything, not a word, from the teacher since August and now it's November (parent-teacher conferences) and my child is behind. Very, very much, behind. Below the "benchmark" quoted. Dude, my child was left behind.
I spoke very little English in the third-grade. This gives me hope for my child who was born in the USA.
I've reached a road block. I'm a horrible mess. I have no idea what I should do next. We are spending an insane (seriously insane) amount of money every month for an interventionist from another school district to tutor my child. The Cleveland Clinic pediatric doctor we have, will not allow any testing done until the school deems it necessary and no one at school has called me back after a tearful voice-mail message I left yesterday. I have known, in my heart, that my child has had a learning disability since kindergarten (or earlier) but no one around me will admit it.
My husband was diagnosed with a learning disability in the third-grade. This gives me hope because he is now an amazing doctor.
I've never, in my life, have felt more alone but filled with so much hope. I know there's a light at the end of this tunnel but I don't know how to get there. I don't know what I should do next. Please, I beg of you, tell me your story because I feel like I'm about to crumble. What do I do? Who do I call? What's my next step? How can I fight the school district - can I? Does private school offer more one-on-one help? What are my child's rights? Does my child have rights? Will I survive motherhood?
|Last Updated on Monday, 07 November 2011 07:46|