First and foremost I have to apologize to any friends of mine who have lost a loved one. I'm truly so sorry for my lack of support during your difficult time. I had no idea that in America people go above and beyond to show how much they care during hard times.

In Eastern Europe, a death is a sensitive family issue. Many of Grandma's friends who attended her calling hours were shocked to read the news of her death. "We would've made meals." "I would have sent cards." "Had we known she was sick, we would've visited or called." Grandma was of Lithuanian decent and as a neighboring Pole, I understood her request for privacy. I can't speak for every person of Slavic decent, but from my experiences people keep their problems private.

The open casket calling hours, so much of a tradition in Christian America, caused me to lose sleep for days worrying how my children would react to seeing Grandma's body laid out before them for five hours. The idea was foreign to me only because I've never attended a calling hour - deaths are a private family matter in Poland, why should I attend calling hours for someone outside of my family? So many fears were immediately lifted (and mistakes realized) when I saw my kiddos immensely comforted by strangers they've never met but who went to school with Grandma and shared stories of her. Neighbors who have only briefly met Grandma came and talked with the kids and us. A secretary from the high school I taught at years ago, recognized the surname in the obituary and hugged me "Do you remember me?" - "Of course!" and spent time catching up with my three children asking them about Grandma. Our old neighbors, also dealing with cancer in their immediate family, were attacked with hugs. Loving playgroups friends, who we haven't seen in months, came to pay their respects and I quickly realized how much time has passed since our beloved weekly gatherings. Internet friends, who a long time ago became in real life friends, came to offer amazing hugs in support. Neighbors, friends and family filled the room - in body and in spirit through beautiful flowers and thoughtful cards.

"Some of these people have never met Grandma before, why are they here?" my son asked me.

"Because they are friends. They are here for support."

During calling hours, Grandma's long time school friend emerged from the crowd and spoke with my children. "Your Grandma was such a beautiful person. She always thought of others. I went to school with her from kindergarten until high school graduation and she always put others before her. She is in a better place now. She's asleep." My precocious four-year-old exclaimed, "Actually. She's not sleeping. She is dead!" and it broke the silence in the funeral home. "How does she not know her body is dead? Does it look like she's sleeping?" People laughed at her honesty and came to tickle my kiddos to hear more laughter. I'm thankful that I introduced the analogy of the glove. The kids really seemed to grasp the concept. It was just Grandma's body, too broken to carry her spirit.

After a long day of calling hours the funeral was the next day. I was delighted to see the first friend I ever made in Cleveland, Jewish Amy, who appeared in our Catholic church. "What are you doing here?" "I'm here as a friend." She sat with another girlfriend of mine in one pew, surrounded by so many other friends/family in support. As we walked behind Grandma's casket in the procession to the alter, I looked around the church and it was difficult to control my tears. I was humbled by the people that had gathered.

The tears came when we arrived at home after a month of ICU visits, calling hours, funeral... to see our doorstep littered with cookies, cake pops, flowers, notes, flowers, cookies, letters and more flowers. You are awesome and your timing was impeccable.

"Are these for us?" the kiddos asked in disbelief.

Jay, the most sensitive person of our family, built a "memorial" on his dresser with gifts.

He included the prayer cards that were given out at the funeral. They reminded him of Grandma.

What I worried about most, the well being of my children and husband, was taken care of through your incredible support. You, my friends, know how to comfort people who mourn. Thank you all so very much.